How Many Conditions Are You Putting on Your Happiness?

The other day, I was deeply immersed in house duties, listening to one of my favourite podcasts, when I literally had to stop what I was doing just to make sure I could fully focus. Every single sentence coming from the guest speaker was packed with wisdom.

It was Michael Singer, author, speaker — and, I’d add, a pretty enlightened human being. His book The Untethered Soul, which I’ve since started reading, should be a must-have in your personal library.

One idea in particular stayed with me.

It reminded me just how conditioned our happiness is — and how often we stand directly in the way of our own wellbeing.

Is Your Happiness Conditional?

Think about this for a moment.

What are all the things that need to happen in your life for you to feel content, joyful, happy… or at least reasonably happy?

Let’s be really honest:

• What exactly needs to happen?

• What do you need to have — or not have?

• What do you need to accomplish?

• Where do you need to be?

• How do others need to treat you?

• What must they say or do for you to feel happy?

• What colour does your coffee mug need to be? What should the weather be like outside?

You know where I’m heading with this, right? 😉

Basically: how does your life need to unfold for you to feel happy?

How many prerequisites or “must-haves” are there?

Too many?

The uncomfortable truth is this:

The more conditions you attach to happiness, the harder it becomes to experience it.

Why?

Because it’s nearly impossible to fulfil all those conditions every single day. And if you’re waiting for your partner to have roses delivered to your office… well, you might be waiting — and feeling miserable — forever 😉🌹

Why We Stand in the Way of Our Own Happiness

Here’s the powerful part:

Who created those conditions in the first place?

You did.

Which means you can also change them.

This insight reminded me of my three months living in Antarctica. Some of you may remember the stories I shared on LinkedIn back then.

Life in Antarctica can be brutal — not just because of the extreme weather, but because of the reality of co-living with other human beings in very spartan conditions.

If you insist on having things “your way,” you’ll hit a hard (and frozen) wall pretty quickly 😄❄️

My personal strategy for not just surviving but thriving was simple:

I lowered my needs to the bare minimum. I dropped most of my “must-haves.”

And something fascinating happened.

Even when circumstances weren’t ideal, I could still feel happy.

In fact, I realised just how little it actually took for happiness to beam through my entire being.

Re-examining Your “Must-Haves” for Happiness

I’m not suggesting we should eliminate desire or ambition.

But re-examining our happiness conditions is a powerful exercise.

Because happiness is far more connected to your inner setup than to your external circumstances.

These days, I have far fewer prerequisites for feeling content. I see many things as “nice-to-haves” — little bonus extras.

And that shift makes all the difference.

I can smile even if it rains all day and the cashier at the supermarket throws me a nasty look ☔😄

What about you?

To what extent is your happiness conditioned?

Have an awesome, joy-filled day 😉

Alena

💬 And if this reflection sparked something in you — about your happiness, your inner setup, or your leadership growth — we can explore it together. You’re welcome to schedule a complimentary 15-minute exploratory call with me.